Just look at the wonderful family God gave me. My cup should be running over everyday. It should be an eternal spring that just bubbles up in my heart. And look at our big boy Logan 7 weeks old, you can't help but smile when you see that face. All ready for Church last Sunday. The pictures are a reminder for me of what I have to be thankful for every minute of every day.
Psalm 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalms 69:1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. ~Harry Truman
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them. ~Leonard Louis Levinson
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute. ~Gil Stern
Life if a funny thing. You think you finally have everything figured out and something unexpected comes along and slaps you in the face. That's the feeling I've been having lately. I always thought I was a glass half full optimist only to be knocked down by the fact that I'm a dyed in the wool pessimist.
I have recently turned 50. I really didn't think it had bothered me very much. So I'm 50 over half my life is gone. I've had a good life. God has richly Blessed me with a wonderful husband who I love to the very depths of my soul. God has blessed me with 4 wonderful children, who have all made the decision, in their lives, to have Jesus as their personal Saviour. Both of my boys have Godly women for their spouses. And I have become a Grandmother for the first time. One of the most joyful things in life. And after meeting Logan Connor Freeman, Justin's first child, I know what every grandparent is talking about, he is wonderful. What a joyous day that was for our family. I think it is mainly HOPE you receive from that tiny little thing that looks at you knowing all of his needs will be met with no problem. His glass is half full. If he needs it, it is there, with all the love and tenderness that comes with the love of a new child. And I'm looking forward to more grandchildren from Joshua and Amy, Justin and Leslie. And also from Chelsea and Anna when God introduces them to their life mate and they marry. I have a roof over my head that has been paid off for a while. I have reliable vehicles to get me where I need to go. I have too much food to eat, you can tell this just by looking at me. I have many people in my life who I love and loves back. What a wonderful life. Glass should be half full. Well shouldn't it be.
But I find my self feeling empty. Psalms 69:1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. 2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. 3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God. Why can't if feel like my cup runneth over as in the 23rd Psalms. That is such a comforting scripture, but I find no peace in it today. This makes me feel like a failure. I know that people have troubles and trials. I deal with Myasthenia Gravis and IVIG treatments every 4 weeks. But everyone has troubles and trial. Some so much bigger than mine. I really feel guilty, and that just adds to my pessimism. I want to be a glass half full person. I want to lift others up when they are down, but its so hard sometimes when I feel like I have nothing to give.
Today I need to be that very positive person, for my girls. As everyone knows Anna
is having multiple medical problems. That I feel guilty about because I'm afraid she inherited all things bad from me. And it is making Chelsea sick. She has actually thrown up a couple of time just from stress. I don't know what we will find out today. Probably not much because I figure we will be looking a more testing. We would just like to have an answer. So we can get a plan. To me that is a half full person. Have a plan and carry it out. But the pessimism in me knows no plan we make will ever go as we plan. I had prayed for strength for today and a good nights sleep. Well God decided that sleep was not that important for me. Maybe taking a little stock in my life was more on his mind. I am going to try to start my day with a smile for my girls and myself. We are going to start our day a little early by having a big breakfast at Cracker Barrel with Mama and Daddy. You all know I find courage in food. I also figure we will have ice cream or a milkshake today. And might even throw in some onion rings...lol...I wish I didn't find such comfort in food but that's just the way it is for me. I hope my milk shake glass stays half full all day.
Pray for us today, we need to be lifted up. The increased spinal fluid Anna has will be easy to fix the first time, just drain a little off. It's the long term diagnosis that concerns me. And I want even put voice to all the things that could be causing this. But as we know something is causing it and we really need to know what that is so we can get our plan...lol I am weak in body today because of the bronchitis, and this should be my really good week. So I know plans never work out the way we plan, but I do know that God's plan is always perfect, that is defiantly a glass half full thought. I just need to know that The Lord is My Shepard and I shall not want. And today I will rebuke the devil, and say get behind me satan( I'm not even going to give him the satisfaction of capital letters). I think I'll take that as my mantra today and maybe that milk shake cup will stay half full all day.
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