3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things.
Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
3:7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Well my tounge is truly unruly evil, and full of deadly poison. I can take a simple conversation between too people and only hear a few key words, and not hear them in contex and then I get upset.
I am a horrible mother, I hurt my childrens feeling all the time. I don't mean too, but it happens any way. I made my sweet happy go lucky Chelsea cry just a few minutes ago. She had done nothing wrong, and I was ugly to Joshua on the phone and he had done nothing wrong either. Oh my crazy brain thought they had. I am becoming more and more parinoid. And it causes me to really hurt the people I love. My heart is broken, because I can not tame my evil tounge. I am asking God to please help me be a more pleasent person to be around.
Right now I'm in a room by myself and Rodney and the grils are in a different room. And it is all my fault. I try to make excuses because my head hurts so bad I think its going to explode. I'm stressed about this stupid port that want work because I'm going to have to have surgery to replace it, this scares me because its been in 4 years and I know I have a lot of scare tissue that could rupture a major blood vessel. This is not the girls fault. It is no ones fault its just life. I'm also waiting on results on a repeat liver test, because the first one was very abnormal (nurses words not mine).
I am sorry to all my chickies for being so hard to live with. If God looked down on me today he would not say to Satan have you considered my servent Lisa, I have failed God and I have failed my family. Sometime when my tounge runs way and hurst people I think I'd be better off dead so that they don't have to deal with crazy mama.
I dont know why I can't learn to tame my tounge, I know this will happen only with Gods help. So My Dear Saviour please help me control this unruley tounge. I think everyone would be better off if I never spoke again. If you read this please help me pray that I become a better person and that my mouth will shut up and i quit hurting the people I love.
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