Depression and my Unruly Tongue

I saw this on a tee-shirt and it made me laugh. Then it made me say Oh Me. Then it made me sad. Then I started to talk to my sweet Jesus and was asking him to let “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14” I just kept saying it over and over again. And I then Asked to be forgiven for any words that has come out of my mouth that was hurtful to anyone.
I have been fighting a bad deep deep Major Depression since December. Have had Depression most of my life. It’s nothing new. But this is the worst it’s been in a long time. In fact the last time it was this bad I spent 7 days in lock down. (Not a good place, there are crazy people there). We finally have my meds regulated where I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I have clinical Depression. If you’ve never delt with Depression, hit your knees right now and say Praise God. The chemistry in my brain isn’t correct. Who would have THUNK IT, that I would have something that wasn’t right in my head. It’s no different than some one with diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer or any other serious health condition. It’s something you treat. You don’t ignore it. If you ignore it that’s when really dark bad things can happen. But while your in that dark hole of depression your mouth will run wild. You will say things that are hurtful to the people you love the most. I think you want them to feel as awful as you do. You hurt and you want everyone else to feel your pain. Depression makes your tongue very unruly. That made me think of “James” Chapter 3 in the Holy Bible. Which talks about how unruly the tongue is and how we need to bridle it. So this shirt that I thought was funny became not so funny to me. It convicted me this morning. I apologize to anyone and everyone that I may have hurt with my tongue. And in the future I will try think long and hard before I speak. This is a hard task and I’m sure I will fail many times. But know in my heart I want to “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14

James 3 (NIV)
Taming the Tongue
3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.