Grief definition: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. a cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow. Idioms. come to grief, to suffer disappointment, misfortune, or other trouble; fail:
Death cause grief, loss of any kind causes grief. The loss of our ability to control our bodies. Loss of a job, a friend, a dear pet. Many things can cause us grief. I was taught in nursing school the stages of grief. We were taught this so we could help our patients mental health as well as their physical health. No one goes through the stages at the same time or in the same length of time. Or at the same pace. Nothing or nobody can tell another person how long each stage will last. And we can bounce around from one to the other and back again multiple times. Denial is the sweet spot. You don't have to face the fact that anything is wrong any where. Anger hurts you and everyone you come in contact with, anger never ends well. Bargaining, we beg God and make promises that there is no way we can keep. Guilt just weighs you down and puts back into one of the other stages. Depression to me is the worst. I live in that one. It's horrible. Some days you want to just crawl under your bed and curl up in a ball a and hide from the world. And last but certainly not least is Acceptance and Hope. How hard is it so acheive HOPE. We let our self wallow in all the others when HOPE is just waiting for us. The next time you have troubles and trials remember that there is HOPE. You can find Hope in the Holy Bible. Any problem you have is covered. And I promise in the end The Bible says we win. So people there is HOPE.
Typically, the seven (7) stages of grief are described as:
- Shock or Disbelief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Guilt
- Depression
- Acceptance and Hope
Shock or Disbelief
Jesus was telling the disciples that one of them would betray him and they were in shock and disbelief. This is when we just can't believe something is happening.
The Last Supper
Matthew 26: 17 On the first day of the Festival of Unleavened Bread, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do you want us to make preparations for you to eat the Passover 18 He replied, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The Teacher says: My appointed time is near. I am going to celebrate the Passover with my disciples at your house.’” 19 So the disciples did as Jesus had directed them and prepared the Passover 20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. 21 And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.”
22 They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” 23 Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. 24 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born. 25 Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.” 26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”27 Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the[b] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” 30 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.
Denial
Where we don't have to really believe anything bad could ever happen to us.
The disciples were so much in denial that they went to sleep while Jesus was praying so hard his sweat became as drops of blood. But they were in lala land believing everything was OK. they didn't see the danger coming.
Matthew 26: Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial
31 Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:
“‘I will strike the shepherd,
and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’[c]
32 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”
33 Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”
34 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
35 But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.
Gethsemane 36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done. 43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. 45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Or we run to the 23rd Psalms. We feel safe and secure there. It's a good place to live in denial.
Psalm 23(KJV) 1The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Anger
Peter showed anger when he realized this it was true they were going to take Jesus and crucify him. Jesus showed anger in the Temple.
Matthew 26:47 While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him 50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”[d] Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. 51 With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”55 In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. 56 But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.
Matthew 21:12-13(NIV)
Jesus at the Temple
12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[a] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’[b]”
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
Bargaining
One of the biggest case of Bargaining there is. And then there is a little denial thrown in when Lots wife turns around to look at Sodom and Gomorrah and turns in to a pillar of salt. Abraham begged and begged for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah to no avail.
20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.[d] 23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? 24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? 25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”26 The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”27 Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, 28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”
“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”29 Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it. 30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?” He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?” He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.” 32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”
33 When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.
Guilt
We feel so much guilt. Guilt that were hurting our family. Guilt that our family is having to pick up the chores at home the we can't do anymore. We feel like burdens. We feel like we are financial and physical burdens. Judas let the guilt of his betrayal cause him to commit suicide. We can't let Guilt control us.
Matthew 27 (NIV)
Judas Hangs Himself
27 Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. 2 So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor.3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. 6 The chief priests picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” 7 So they decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. 8 That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on him by the people of Israel, 10 and they used them to buy the potter’s field, as the Lord commanded me.”[a]
Depression
This is where I seem to wallow. Depression. You want to crawl under the bed and never come out. You don't want to talk to anyone. Getting out of the chair is so hard. Concentration is just gone. I you find joy in nothing. You hurt all over, you never want to leave the house. Nothing seem to make you feel anything, except you kept jumping back up to Anger, Denial, Disbelief and Guilt. YOU feel like a bouncing ball from one emotion to the other. The Scripture I always fall back on for this is Psalms 69. If David a man after God's own heart could feel like this then I don't feel so bad when I feel like this.
Psalm 69(KJV)
69 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.4 They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.6 Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.7 Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.8 I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.
9 For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.10 When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.11 I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them.12 They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards.13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.14 Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.15 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.16 Hear me, O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.17 And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.18 Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.19 Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour: mine adversaries are all before thee.20 Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
Acceptance and Hope
Why can't we have Hope. God sent his only begotten son to save us. We know how the story ends. We should have HOPE. Why can't we get there and stay there. it's because were just human. We want be perfect till we get to heaven. So look for HOPE. It's there, you just have to look. Grab hold of it and don't let go. But know we keep running back to guilt. Then Anger. Then the wonderful wonderful state of Denial. But Hope is such a wonderful wonderful word. Why Oh Why can't our human minds. Hold on to it. I hope you can find your Hope.
John 3:16-18 (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
HOPE
Revelation 21 (KJV)
21 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
HOPE
2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
HOPE
Romans 15:13(KJV)
13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
HOPE
Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV)
6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
HOPE
Romans 8:26-28 (KJV)
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
HOPE
Jeremiah 1:(KJV) 5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
