Knight in Shinning Denim (other wise known as I've fallen and can't get up.)

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Knight in Shining Denim (otherwise known as I've fallen and can't get up.)

Pajama Day!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! I haven't called that in a while.
This is a BIG THANK YOU TO A KNIGHT IN SHINING DENIM.
Yesterday, Myasthenia Gravis, Empty nest, Removal of Thyroid, Being put to Sleep with some Neuro Blockers( neuro blockers and myasthenia hate each other), having 3 doctors’ appointments this week and finding out yes mine was Thyroid Cancer, got to go see and oncologist, figure it's a formality.. All came crashing together, don’t leave me now, just getting to the fun stuff. When I got home, I went to change clothes and get comfy as normal. But the big box we keep documents in caught my eye and I thought of a paper I needed out of it. So, I squatted down to look through the papers and fell backwards. OK not so bad. For a NORMAL HUMAN. Not too easy for Lisa Freeman. I tried to pull myself up, I got on my knees. Bad move, new knee hated that move. so, I sat back down. And scooted to the door frame and tried to pull myself up. Couldn't do it (and I tried more times than I can count). I called Rodney he said scoot to the straight back chair in the bedroom, I could get up with it. I laid on my back and started scooting (just easier on my back for me). I called Joshua to see where he was. He, Amy and Aubrey were in Attalla. I said no hurry I would figure it out. I called Chelsea and Shawn they were in Gadsden and I told her it was Ok once I get to the bedroom, I would be able to get up by myself. (OH, Repetitive movement makes Myasthenia worse) So Rodney calls again to see where I am, I've made it to the other closet and nearly in the bathroom. He said call 'JavinandTraci O'Barr I said no way, this was to embarrassing. So, as I scooted getting more tired and more tired, I called my sister at the bank for a visit and kept scooting. Laura and I decided she couldn't leave the bank to come help because then everyone in the bank would want to know where she was going and that would be way, way to embarrassing. So, she stayed with me till I got on the carpet. I couldn't call Anna or Justin they both worked to far away. I told Laura if it was the new carpet in the living room in front of the heater I would just curl up and take a nap, that was all the strength I had left. So, after talking to Rodney yet again I called JavinandTraci O'Barr. Javin the knight in shining denim was here in less than 2 minutes. He helped me sit up. Found my tea and my Mestinon. I took 2 Mestinon and then he helped me up into the chair in the bedroom. I hope I didn't hurt his back. That always worries me, because let's face it I'm not a tiny thing. So, while I was resting for the move to the living room. Joshua and Amy showed up. They said they didn't come because I fell, but I'm sure they cut their plans short. Thank to both of them. When they arrived Javin was able to leave. Joshua and Amy got me to the living room to my chair where I spent the rest of the afternoon. My sister ratted me out to mama. She just can't keep a secret...lol....(that's the funnies thing in the story if you knew my sister). I'm Wooped today, but no worse for wear. Thank you to everyone who talked to me while I was scooting, it took every bit of energy I had to get to the carpet. Thank you SO MUCH JAVIN, you are my knight in shining denim. I'm better today but not great. I will take a while, to get over the anesthesia. I hope your day is better than my yesterday was, love you all.
Proverbs 18:24 - A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Myasthenia gravis (MG) is a long-term neuromuscular disease that leads to varying degrees of skeletal muscle weakness. [1] The most commonly affected muscles are those of the eyes, face, and swallowing. It can result in double vision, drooping eyelids, trouble talking, and trouble walking. Onset can be sudden.
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Myasthenia gravis (my-us-THEE-nee-uh GRAY-vis) is characterized by weakness and rapid fatigue of any of the muscles under your voluntary control.
Myasthenia gravis is caused by a breakdown in the normal communication between nerves and muscles.
There is no cure for myasthenia gravis, but treatment can help relieve signs and symptoms, such as weakness of arm or leg muscles, double vision, drooping eyelids, and difficulties with speech, chewing, swallowing and breathing

Through a grandchild's eyes.

Through a grandchild's eyes.

Through a grandchild's eyes.
I'm 55 years old and until late yesterday evening (Friday July 15, 2016) my Mammaw Swink was still alive. She was 102. Not your typical 102. She had been able to live in her own home until this March (2016).  Amazing right. Her mind was sharper than mine, her eyes still danced with laughter and love.  Well what can I say, my Mammaw Swink was perfect. I say this as only a very spoiled grandchild can. My whole life I have lived in Alabama and she has lived in North Carolina. All of my growing up years we went faithfully two times a year and spent about a week each time. We couldn't wait to arrive. There Mammaw would be with a big beautiful smile, hugs and lots of kisses and more kisses. Mammaw's house was always a happy place, a warm place, a place of love. Her house always smelled of baked goods any time of year.   At Christmas it smelled of cloves and peppermint.  A 10oz Cheerwine or Coke was always waiting.  In the summer homemade ice cream. (never really understood the banana ice cream, but it was all always good).  Mammaw would correct us when we misbehaved and pop to the butt was always a choice you could have. Mammaw is the first person I remember to introduce me me to butter pecan ice cream. She would walk by us and pretend to be licking a cone and give a wink. That was code for its ice cream time, and that happened even after I was an adult and I was the one who brought the ice cream. Her eyes were full of fun, laughter and mischief.  But she was straight with you. You didn't ask her option unless you want her dead straight truth. She was a wonderful wife to my Pappaw who died in May of 2000. She was a wonderful loving mother to 7 Children 4 girls and 3 boys. My mama was perfectly in the center. She had 19 rambunctious grandchildren. (Wouldn't some of us or all of us love to be called that now). She showered us Smith babies with so much love when we went that we continued to try to go and take our Children at least once a year all of her life.  My children have taken her loss very hard. I haven't. I don't mean that cold or heartless. Mammaw will be so missed, I can see her rocking in her chair and hear it squeaking as I write this. Her one flaw was her stubborn refusal to get a hear aide...lol...there were just some things she didn't need to hear. I can't sit at my sewing machine without thinking of her working at hers. Pancakes on the griddle. Oh, and she gave me that griddle and I finished wearing it out. How blessed I have been to have gotten to be Janie Alice Sharpe Swink's grandchild for 55 years. I will always be her grandchild but to have known her that long is such a privilege that so few people get. I said I haven't taken her loss hard,I'm sad. But I'm old enough to understand the miracle I have witnessed that was her life. And I know she was saved and ready to meet God with the blood of Jesus applied to her life. So, my heart is glad for her that she has finally gotten to leave this imperfect body and receive her perfect one. I will miss my kisses, but much to my amazement I have become a kisser too...lol..all of you that are part Sharpe's will understand that.  But I know a secret that I just had to share, she was already perfect she was MY MAMMAW.

Home

I wrote this several years ago, it is still how I feel. But many things have changed with my babies this year. I want them all to know how much I love them and they are home to me. I miss y'all so, but am so proud of how you each are living you life. Today I'm thankful for my HOME. Not the house I live in that is just the address where we sleep. HOME to me is what happens inside the walls and the people who are inside the walls with me. Home is the love, laughter, sadness, anger, tears, happiness that is shared with in the wall of a house. I take HOME with me everywhere I go. I feel at home sitting by my sweet, GRUMPY Rodney Freeman. I feel at home when Logan and Carter are building tents in the  a living room, and Aubrey dancing all over my house. The 3 having tea party in the living room.  I feel home while watching Chelsea try to take 3 boxes of no cook pie and make 2 desserts out of them. I feel at home when Joshua calls me every day to see how I feel and what I thought about the TV show of the day. I feel at home when Justin calls and say "whatcyou doing" or is sending me and interesting pic of what ever he's doing, especially when Logan's in it. I feel at home when Anna and I are snuggled up, her on the couch and me and Bitz in my chair watching a movie together. I feel at home when Laura and Nolan have come to play cards and we laugh and laugh at the fact that I can't count. Home is a hug when you feel down. Home is the peace I feel sitting in my chair talking to God. We can have a house but it takes life lived to make a home. I hope everyone who comes to my house feels at home. Home is a comfort word, it is an unbelievable feeling that you have when your at peace with all that is going one around you. I believe that my home Starts with God, then my wonderful Rodney, then my 4 unbelievable children, and now 3 Awesome Grand Babies,  and my 2 wonderful daughter-in-laws and a son-in-law. Welcome to my home anytime. You may find a house in disarray, but MY HOME is always intact. Love each and ever one of my FACEBOOK family you are home to me also. Thank you one and all for being part of my life and helping me have that comfort that acutely comes from God thru you to me when I need it. It gives me that nice HOMEY feeling, knowing you are there. I love my HOME, Thank you God for the HOME you have given me, and I pray that I am not selfish with it that I share it with everyone I come in contact with. Welcome to my HOME.

How many Apples in a Seed

How many "Apples are in a Seed."
About 15-20 years ago I saw this on a church sign. I was stumped. A blonde movement ( or fake blonde moment ) I guess. I thought they've got that backwards. Apples aren't in seeds, seeds are in Apples. So I pondered and pondered. DUHHHH. Then God revealed it to my dense mind. You have to plant a seed, water it, fertilize it, prune it, spray it for infestations. And it grows and grows into a tree, then eventually you get Apples. But you have to keep the process up to get good Apples. So one day I might be the one to plant the seed of Jesus in someone's heart, or it could be your day to do that job. It might be my Job to water the seed, that means come by and reinforce the message through my actions and words and to show Jesus in my life. Or that might fall to you to do that. Fertilizer. Ok the person has let the seed of Jesus take root in there heart. You 100% can't just run off and hope it will grow. Fertilizer is the word of God. Teacher them where to go when they need to grow. That seed has to have Water and Fertilizer. Then as it grows in some ones heart and God starts pruning the bad stuff out of there lives we have to be there with our Bible open to help them understand. What the trials are really about. Then you spray for bugs. Oh me this can be hard. If we let Jesus shine in our lives and don't go with every thing everyone else is doing we can shine the light on infestations. That need to be removed, more pruning. Then the tree is in Bloom and it's beautiful. Those blooms turn in to Apples. Some Apples perfect and good some wither and die, some get rot. More pruning. All the while people are coming thru the persons life to water, fertilize, and help prune the bad out. Then that tree will grow beautiful Apples. Apples that have many many seeds in each one. Let's plant seeds, if the opportunity shows it's self, we should look for that opportunity all the time.  We should help water the seeds that are already planted. Then we should fertilize the seeds that are already planted. And we should always be ready to help when the trees need to be pruned. The pruning can be so hard for a new Christian. But as Christian's this is what Jesus commanded us to do. I will make you fishers of men. So I ask you this morning "How many Apples are there in a Seed".

Standing on the solid rock

Our Sunday School lesson was about a Firm Foundation. This is a print of a painting that hangs over my TV. I look at it all the time. My Daddy and Mama bought it for me. It helps me remember where my foundation is and that is built on Jesus Christ. This morning I'm so glad I had that foundation last night. Now to some this may sound so silly, but to those of you who have a companion pet(dog, cat or what ever). Mine happens to be Bitz my Rat Terrier. She is 9 years old and last month had a really bad liver infection, which in part comes long term use of seizure medication. And was explained to me when we had to put her on it that it would be hard on her liver. So we did all the meds. And she has gotten so much better until last night.  Bitz who was crate trained and slept in her open crate for her first 5-6 years of her life now sleeps in the bed with someone. I know a dog in the bed but it's like, my dog, my house, my bed. Anna would sneak her in the bed with her for a long time. Then it just became the normal. Bitz even tells us when it's time to go to bed. She is so funny. Then on one of the girls trips Rodney (who use to declared he didn't like the dog in the house) got her and put her on the end of our bed so she wouldn't be by her self. I'm just  trying to paint y'all a picture of what this dog means to our house. So last night Anna was working so Bitz started the night on the bed with me and Grump. I thought she would jump down and go with Anna when she came in but last night she didn't. And I'm glad. Before we even fell asleep she snuck up between Grump and me, where she wasn't supposed to be. We all went to sleep. About 11:00pm I woke up with her trembling. On no seizure is coming. So I go and get her an extra seizure pill as I've been told to do and get it down her throat. And she just trembles and I pet her. So around 2am. She goes into full blown Grand Mal seizure and she seized and seized and seized. She would calm a little then seize again. 2 different times between the seizes she stopped breathing. I cried a lot last night. Yeah I know she's a "JUST" a dog, but she's my shadow, my companion, my sanity at times. She has the perfect personality for my family. She loves my grand babies and they love her so much. I prayed for God to give me peace and comfort if it was time for her to die. That peace that can only come from God when your foundation is built on the solid rock of Jesus came over me. I was able to say God your will be done. I will miss her but I can't stand to see her go thru this again. But God spared her this go around. She couldn't walk when I got her up to go potty this morning at 6am. But by the time we were back in the house she was walking and moving slowly. She's asleep in the chair with me now. I feel the comfort of her breathing, the warmth of her body against my leg, I feel her heart beating. I praise God for that solid rock he gave us to stand on every moment of the day. I couldn't make it with out God every day. God is good ever day. Every day with God is good. Think about where your foundation is and how it is that you get through those long hard dark nights. With God your never alone. Build a firm foundation, the storm is coming. Even if it's something you may think is as silly as loosening your dog. Thank you God for your peace and comfort.

My Faith is Stronger than my Fear

There is a saying that I think of often.  Make a plan so God has something to LAUGH at because it never works out how we plan. It's good to have a life plan but you have to be ready for that unexpected second when everything changes. I don't know how everyone else feels but I hate change. I like order and sameness in my life. Changes stress me. This is a fault of mine. I now have the faith that my life is in God's hands, and because I'm covered by the blood of Jesus Christ everything will always turn out for the good of God. And :It Is Well With My Soul" as the song says. So I will make my Faith stronger than my Fear.

We have had so many changes this year. And I'm prone to depression. I had a horrible time at the end of 2014, and the first 2015 with sever depression. I though when the doctor was having me come every week that I was going to have to go inpatient again. But YAY!!! I got better. Then I got to spend several day last year with just me and Bitz at Windcreek State Park. Rodney didn't want to leave me by myself because I don't drive. (and I like to think he would miss me) But during those days I had a come to Jesus experience. And it prepared me for all the CHANGES that God knew was coming our way over 2015-2016 year. It helped me make to my faith stronger than my fear. 

We are coming up on October 7, 2016 the anniversary of the most horrible time in my life  When I received the call that Rodney had fell 4 feet out of the back of he tractor trail truck's trailer. I didn't know for 3 days if  I was going to loose him forever. That started a horrible struggle for us. And I am so thankful for my 4 children who love the their daddy so much and all their help. Aunt Glenda for getting me a hotel room when there was none was to be found. Kerry Quin and Becca Allred for coming to me at Trinity/Grandview hospital to give, so I didn't have to leave the love of my life in this world. He is my every thing.For all the people who sent us a gift of money I know God provided that, thank you everyone who helped us by being Obedient to what God lead you to do. I held it together pretty good though everything untill he went back to work and that was like sending my baby off to kindergarten  for the first time.(very scary). But my fear never over come my faith, Thank you Lord. And Rodney has done great since he went back to work. And everyone he has come in contact with has said I never thought you would ever be back to work. Thank you God for this Blessing. Thank you for helping me let my Faith overcome my Fear.

Then in April (on my birthday week) Chelsea and I helped move Anna to Texas. I felt peace about this decision the whole time. I had a lot of people saying I can't believe your letting her move. My reply was she is 26 years old and can may her own life decisions, And she needed and adventure. ( and with all that video stuff and her flying back and fourth from Texas it nearly seemed she wasn't even gone). But I am so glad she is back home. I really missed her between trips and snapchats and videos calls.But God gave me "Sweet Peace" about her decision. And Fear never overcame my Faith.

So the next change was Chelsea and Shawn decided to get married. I was so glad to be getting my first Son-In-Law. So far it's great. While Anna was here we went and Chelsea bought her dress because we wanted Anna to be part of this wonderful time for Chelsea. Plus she is our fashion aficionado of our house, But because Anna was in Texas it gave me very precious and wonderful time with Chelsea as we planned and started getting everything together. I pray I get to have this same precious and wonderful time with Anna when she finds that man God has Perfectly for her. Oh, and we were so busy I never ever though about empty nest. I was just excited for her and Shawn. And they are so happy. This is truly a blessing. But that doesn't mean I don't pray for their marriage every night just like I do for Joshua and Justin's marriage. I was having the most horrible knee pain during this and the doctor put 3 of the Rooster Comb shots in my Right knee plus a lovely knee brace. It got me thru what I refer to Hell Week. And not because Chelsea was a Bridezilla. In fact she was totally the opposite. She wanted her wall and tulips and that is all she asked for and we made all that happen. So during this Change my Faith was stronger than my Fear. And I didn't have the sad feeling of Empty nest when both the girls were gone. But Anna's back yea!!!!!,( but I really don't know for how long, but when she goes again I will be at peace)

This year On September 8th, Rodney's daddy passed away. He was ready to go. And I had the privilege  to see the most peaceful death I have ever seen. And as an former ICU nurse I've been present at many of deaths. I had the privilege to have my hand laying on his chest when he took his last breath. He didn't struggle to breathe. I had everyone prepared for that, but I was just peaceful. It has been so hard on Mrs. Freeman, so keep her in your prayers. And Rodney to as he gets all the paper work and probate of the will done. I never dream, but I love God for sending me a dream of Mr. Freeman asking me "little girl" why are crying, I'm in a good place. I'm so comfortable now. Praise God for this message. It was so real, so vivid, and I finally had my good cry. So thank you God for helping me keep my Faith stronger than my Fear.

Now for me. So I've had this bum knee for about 2 years. To the point I can hardly walk in Wal Mart or any Shopping place. So in May I went to see the Doctor that did Rodney's clavicle repair. One reason my knees hurt is I fall a lot. (thank you Myasthenia Gravis) I had twisted my good knee in May and could no longer stand the pain. So I had x-rays when I to saw the Doctor. He put a wonderful steroid shot in both knees. And the x-rays showed I was bone on bone on the bad knee, but only on half of it. I can't imaging the pain if it was all the way across. I really feel for anyone who has bone one bone in any joint. The pain is un-describable.  My surgery will be at Grandview in Birmingham, not the Mental hospital in Gadsden.  I went for my pre-op appointment yesterday and the doctor is training a new Nurse Practitioner. When he pulled up my x-ray for the NP to look at he said I was perfect, just the perfect can for candidate for the partial knee replacement. I've never done any correctly let alone perfect. lol... But my arthritis is doing a bang up job.  I go next week on Tuesday for Total Knee Class and my PAT. I have looked up the conversion of by mouth Mestion to IM Mestion because I'm afraid the Anesthesiologist want know the conversion...lol...how crazy is that. Yeah I'm coo coo for coco puffs... lol... Surgery is October 17, 2016. I request prays that day I and I will be reminding everyone. .I will be having my rehab at home and I have lost 8 of the 10 pounds that was our target before the October 17th date. I am at peace over this surgery. I will let my Faith be stronger than my Fear. No Myastenic complications for me. 

Hebrew (KJV) 11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good report.  3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

Romans 1017 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

PSALMS 56: 3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

5 Every day they wrest my words: all their thoughts are against me for evil. 6 They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they mark my steps, when they wait for my soul. 7 Shall they escape by iniquity? in thine anger cast down the people, O God. 8 Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? 9 When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. 10 In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise his word. 11 In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. 12 Thy vows are upon me, O God: I will render praises unto thee. 13 For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?

PHILIPANS 4: 4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. 5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

To: Finn

To: Finn Morgan Bryant ( MattandHeather Bryant ) Great Auntie Lisa is working on a quilt for you. I let your mommy look at the piece of fabric I was using as my base fabric. That's the fabric I used for color or a theme in a quilt. It's a starting point. I was just going to make you a baby quilt but I had enough fabric that it has turn into a big boy quilt. That doesn't mean you can't use it as a baby. You and mommy and daddy can snuggle up in it and read or just snuggle. It will give you a big pallet to play on in the floor, when your a little bigger than you are today. It can go on picnics or to the beach to give you a place to get out of the grass or sand. It will wash very well, so don't worry if your cup spills on it or your gummies gets mashed into it, they will wash right out in the washing machine. It can go to camp with you some day. On trips to see Mimi.  It can be your quilt on a twin bed if that's the bed you have to sleep in when your bigger. It will be a good start on making a tent on a rainy day. I hope you love it and it gives lots and lots of comfort and happy memories from being a tiny we thing, till you so big you don't want people to know it makes you feel better when your sick or just feeling blue.  I hope it's ragged and needs mending so it can go with you to college, I will be glad to mend it for you.  I hope you see every piece and stitch and know that someone in Alabama really loves you. It has arrows, your mommy said your daddy would think of Zelda, he will tell you all about it when your big enough to play games. One piece of fabric has canoes on it but I think they kinda look like surf boards, in honor of your being born in California. I hope you love it. Love your, Great Auntie Lisa