Logan’s Thankful

Thankful List
I wonder when I’ve finished a crochet project and you have 2 yards of yarn left why do I keep it. ( it’s garbage it will only tangle the other yarn) But keep it I do.
I wonder why I have enough 6 inch blocks already cut and ready to make a quilt in my stash and they just sit there and sit and sit there and sit there.
I wonder exactly what makes a battery work and why do they die. Couldn’t they put enough of the go juice in them so they would last for ever?( I know the battery people would be out of a job, maybe that’s why)
I wonder why toilet paper never gets put on the roll. (My bad too)
I wonder why the tooth paste get squeezed from the center never from the end.
I wonder at the magic of throw pillows, they make the grandest forts, tents, and cuddlers.
I wonder why I think cinnamon in my coffee is Awesome and other people turn there noes up at it. Yum.
I wonder why I like dark glumy rainy days instead of bright sunshiny days. ( it might be because I can open the shaded)
I wonder how Toby can make such a mess and run like the wind. If he thinks your playing, and you will never catch him. When all you want is a snuggle.
I wonder why snuggling with him is so peaceful to my heart.
I wonder what is the problem with my legs that if I sit for 2 or sleep for 12 and wake rested my legs want hold me up. Just weird.
I wonder why our full speed ahead Aubrey, who laughs the loudest, ah Grammy, sing to the top of her lungs in my bath tub, And howls like a wolf gets, shy when there’s more and 2 people around. She sings like an Angel and that ain’t just because she’s mine. ( praying the shy is just a phase)
I wonder why Anna had to spend 2 nights in the hospital again and miss 3 days of work again. I know it’s God’s plan and we need to just go with it. (But it sure is hard to watch your baby baby be in that much pain)
I don’t have to wonder why Justin took his family to California for a year to live in a RV, I see the joy of this trip on Leslie’s face in every picture.
I don’t wonder why a Joshua runs, I see it on his face too.
I wonder if Rodney is making it good on his first day back to work. He was so excited to be finally going back. ( prayers please for a no re- injury.)
I wonder why IVE GOT TO GO TO UAB for a second opinion. My most hated place to get a diagnosis about my lungs. But I will go because my doctor thinks it’s best for a 2nd opinion.
I wonder why my carpet is softest after it’s been vacuumed.
I wonder what is in RJ’s little mind when is says Whoooodat, whaaadat, is he storing all the information and is just going to start talking and already know everything, there is to know. Whaaatttdat
I wonder what our sweet baby Jackson will look like. Hope he has some fat little cheeks. Shawn’s dark hair and the Freeman blue eyed. But I also love RJ’s brown eyes, so I’ll be happy no matter what he looks like. So really I just pray for a healthy baby boy, and mama.
I know my wondering is silly, God knows all the answers and I shouldn’t put a thought to any of these things. I should just say Praise God from who all Blessings Flow.
I wonder why Children get things so well in a moment when it takes an adult years. I wish everyone could have heard the call from Carter age 5 when he called me and said Grammy I’m saved, Jesus lives in my heart. And the heart break in his little voice when he said Grammy they were really really mean to our Jesus.  And He did that so he could live in my heart. That’s a shouting blessing.
I wondered why Justin and Leslie let Logan have an email address. But now I know. I was to make me feel better. That may not have been what was in their minds, but it has been one of the sweets consequences. I love it. I talk to him many time a day. It is great. Hey Grammy are you up yet, was Thanksgiving morning. We talked about being Thankful.
I wondered what an 8 year Logan would say he was Thankful for on Thanksgiving. I told him make me a list of 10 things you are Thankful for. I sent him 10 Things I was Thankful for, that early Thanksgiving morning. I got his list about bed time here. His mom and dad didn’t know he was making a list.
I wonder sometimes why I have been so blessed. It is nothing I do I’m just a sinner saved by Grace. They were really mean to my Jesus, but he did that for me. Am I worthy NO NEVER, but he did it anyway.
I know this is the 2nd day of December but I want to share Logan’s Thankful list. It made me cry that an 8 year old wrote this. He’s a very special young man. I can say that because he’s mine.

Logan Connor Freeman’s What I’m thankful for list and it came with a selfie. Love my babies.

I’m thankful for 1. My good family 2.for Jesus Christ dying on the cross to take away my sins 3.that we are a free country 4.that I get to travel 5.I have food to eat 6.That I have a house 7.That I have friends 8.that we have money 9.That we can go to church 10.That we have people that protect us

Joy on the Mountaintop vs.Sorrow in the Valley

I've been thinking. Yeah, I know that's a dangerous thing, but sometimes I just can't help myself. It is 3:47 am. I have been chocked full of steroids this week. Monday a big shot of steroids and antibiotics for a sinus infection I have and then steroids with my IVIG treatment. So, I haven't slept much this week. Steroid highs aren't very pleasant, but you do get to feel much better much quicker with the shot and the antibiotic shot. At 2:22 am I thought I'd take Toby for a walk outside. (yeah, I've lost my ever-loving mind). I was afraid I'd lose him, so we went with the collar and leash (yeah Toby was so excited to see those). Toby wasn't a bit impressed with the wet grass or being outside period at 2:22 am. So, our little walk didn't last very long. But, while we were out that minute and a half, I enjoyed the cool fresh air. And thought Justin's birthday was September 19th, so we will start getting some fall like weather before long. I breathed in the cool air of this wonderful Valley I live and Thanked God for letting this be the place he chose to let me live, my whole life. I have been truly Blessed.

I began to think about being Up on the Mountain and Down in the Valley, figuratively. That's how we refer to how our life is going. But I've been thinking about that mountain we climb with God. I think we spend about 10% of our time on top of the Mountain basking in the Joy and Peace of God with no problems, all tears wiped away, all problems solved. I think we spend about 10% of our time Down in the lowest part of the Valley in what we consider utter failure as a Christian, we whine, I don't have enough faith, or I've dug a hole so deep I'll never get out. There's just no way out of this situation. God has left me. Stop Right There!!!!!!!!

Who has left God? Oh yeah, that might be me, let me fall on my knees, let me fall on my face, and get humble and go to the ONLY place where there is help and cry out JESUS. 

Now I guess you're wondering about where that other 80% has gone. Well let's start with Down the Mountain first, where we spend 40% of our time. You're setting on top of the Mountain with Jesus and some tiny little thing comes along, and you think oh I can fix this myself no need to bother Jesus on this one, SLIP, feel the rocks start to crumble under your feet. But hey there's a tree limb to hang on to, you've got this. Then something else comes along like insurance matters, and you tell Jesus I've got this one. I've fought these people before I can do it again. They don't have any tricks that I haven't seen before. But wait a minute, I wasn't this sick last time I fought the insurance companies. BIG SLIP, SLIP. Oh, and I've just counted and have had 11 infections in the last 13 months. So, my body is just getting weaker. Do I call on Jesus, well he's pretty busy I'll talk to him about it in passing? I'm talking to Jesus every day. He knows my heart. So, what if I don't tell him the particulars of what I'm worried about. He knows already. SLIPPPPP, SLIPPPPP.  Workmen's Comp, Sick Husband, Your Children, Your Grandchildren, Your Parents, Your Bills, those crumbling rocks turn into a rockslide and before you know it, you’re in an all-out rockslide. And if you happen to catch something to hold to and it's not Jesus it's going to break away and you will fall on down into that Valley of Despair.

Now we've talked about How we get there. Now let's get out. 40% of our time I do believe it working to climb out of the Valley back Up to the Mountaintop. First, we must realize where we are and what Stupid things, we have done to get ourselves down in the Valley. Most of the time it's a control issue. I want to control my life. God made us this way. It's hard for us to give up our control and say, Jesus THY WILL BE DONE.  I've been wrong, I've sinned against you by thinking I didn't need you in EVERY aspect of my life, I'm tired of wallowing in this pit of mud and yuck of my own making. I know you are there waiting for me to wake up and know you are LORD. Then he will scoop us up and stand us up and hold our hand. But I don't think that he just lifts you back to the top of the mountain either. I think we must work on getting there the other 40%. Because who appreciates something they didn't work for in this life. We must prove we will turn to him for everything. And we will say the deepest desires of our hearts out loud to Jesus. Yes, he already knows, but you among us has had a child that has come to us wanting something but wouldn't say what. I knew it was gummies, but they wouldn't say they wanted a bag of gummies they just wanted something. I always say do you want a can of soup, NO, some tuna, NO, until they say gummies. No different with our Lord, and we better turn around and say Thank You or we might have a little SLIP. 

It would be wonderful to live on the Mountain Top 100% of the time. But we as humans, are so flawed and so imperfect, it just ain't going to happen. To my my goal would be to decrease my time falling and laying down there in that Valley. But that is all on me. I can't put the blame on anyone or anything else. It's just me. Climbing a Mountain is hard, but with the right equipment makes it much easier. If we Carry Jesus with us, The Word of God, We put on the Whole armor of God, and at times Be Still and Know He is God. The Climb to the top will even become an enjoyable task. And make that JOY on Top of the Mountain even Greater. Love, Y'all. Wherever you are on that Mountain, don't forget Jesus is right there with you, just call his name. Wherever you are on that Mountain, don't forget Jesus is right there with you, just call his name. It might just reverse your direction. Ya, never know.

Toby

Been a long week. IG. Getting to know Toby. Appointments. G-Babies. Just a little bit of everything.  Toby is the funniest little dog. He makes me laugh. He wants to sleep behind my head. He loves his dog bed and a chewy bone. He crawls underneath the couch and hides things. He’s as fast as greezeded   Lightning. He bounces across the floor he doesn’t run. Hitting the potty pad more than not. Very pleased with his 9 week old potty training accomplishment. I think he will even do better after his next set of shots and I start putting him on the ground. I still miss Bitz. But Toby has eased that so much. Personalities couldn’t be more different. I’ve already decided that he has ADD, not very bright and what I’ve always thought about girl dogs being smarter is true. But please know one tell Toby I would want to hurt his little feelings. He crawls up on Grammy’s no,no,table. Took me 10 minutes to get a halter on him took him 2 minutes to get it off. I’m looking forward to a lot more smiles from Toby.  Thank you Lord for this 3 pound blessing.

What A Friend

At 5:30 this morning and yesterday morning the air out side was so cool and fresh. I thought Fall is just around the corner.( as the day went on I changed my mind) I was Sitting on the deck with Toby, waiting for him to use that puppy pad🥴. He’s an early riser and at my house at 5:30 is so quiet, except the squeak of the swing as I go back and forth. In the Silence and the fresh cool air it’s such a perfect time to talk to Jesus. When I pray I have a conversation. I talk to my Jesus. I knew he already know my heart and all the things I have to tell him about. But it just make me feel better to share things with my best friend. That’s how I think of Jesus when I’m talking to him. The best sweetest friend I’ve ever had. He always listens. He takes care of everything. And not always the way I want but in the way that his word and message will be spread. What a Friend we have in Jesus. I hate getting up at 5:30 am.  D fresh time to talk with Jesus. Thank you Jesus for Always being there for me to here me cry to her me laugh, to be my best friend. What a friend we have in JESUS. Read the Lyrics to the song
What a Friend We Have in Jesus
Joseph M. Scriven, 1855. He really got it right.

What a Friend we have in Jesus,
  All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
  Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
  O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
  Everything to God in prayer!
2
Have we trials and temptations?
  Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
  Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
  Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness,
  Take it to the Lord in prayer.
3
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
  Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
  Take it to the Lord in prayer;
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
  Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
  Thou wilt find a solace there.

My Brown Eyed Boys

What’s on my mind FaceBook asks me. Rodney James and Toby are on my mind. RJ 13 months old and Toby 11 weeks really all that’s all my mind... lol... I have decided they are approximately the same age. Sometimes I think RJ is the older and then sometimes I think Toby is the oldest. RJ still wears a diaper so potting isn’t an issue with him yet.  Toby has potty training down pat one day and is a complete failure the next. So I’m frustrated with his efforts. But that will get better. My 2 boys fuss. Toby nips RJ’s toes. RJ loves Toby a little too hard. And they play chase till someone gets made, if RJ Is mad he CRIES, if Toby is mad he hides under the couch. Toby listens and minds unless he doesn’t want to mind. RJ doesn’t mind unless he does want to mind. They both make me laugh. They both put everything in their mouths. Some food most of the time No, No  stuff, they both love the oxygen tubing in my nose. Toby chewed up 3 Sunday that I had to change out, and it’s not cheep. RJ just wants to pull it out of my nose and put it in his, so they can be all teeth and hand when there in my lap. I love them both dearly. RJ more than Toby(because I do realize Toby is a dog, but when Rodney goes back to work and my house is silent he will be my comfort) But do love Toby a whole lot. (Thank you again Gail Slaton and Stacey Slaton McClendon for my sweet Toby, I’ve forgiven-him for being a boy, he’s a sweetie). Toby sleeps half the day. RJ hardly sleeps any all day. But RJ sleeps all night long. Toby wakes up everyday at 3:30 am to go on the deck to potty. He does both at 3:30 am every day. And then goes right back to sleep in his crater.  He is doing great in the crate at night and when we have to go some where. Then he wakes up again for the day at 5:30, and I mean ready to play. for the day. Then RJ is up at 5:45 for the day, Also ready to play. So I’m up early every morning. When RJ isn’t here I just want to take Toby and crawl back in the bed. You NON DOG PEOPLE WANT UNDERSTAND. But Rodney said after Bitz passed away we weren’t having another dog in the bed. Bitz is so much bigger than Toby will ever be. Bitz took up his foot room... lol. So a little nap probably wouldn’t hurt. I nap with RJ on the bed. What’s good for one of my brown eyed boys should be good for my other brown eyed boy... lol. I’m so tired after having both all day. But it’s a good tired. They are funny and they make me laugh all day. RJ dancing to Winnie the Pooh music. Toby pouncing on his toys. And dragging toy twice his size to hide under the couch. I have to say I Love my 2 brown eyed boys. The days wouldn’t be the same without them. I’ll be glad when Toby out grows up and older than  RJ. And hope it happens before the new baby comes in Dec/Jan. But right now 13 months and 11 weeks are pretty much the same age in baby years and puppy years. I’m s like having twins again. I’m glad I didn’t wait until December to get a puppy imagine have 3 babies in the house. Glad Toby will be 6 months in November that way he can have his little surgery. Oh well I better get a nap while there both asleep. My sweet boys.

Endure

When people ask why do I have to endure this or that trial, whether it be sickness, money problems, family problems, depression, and a million more things that people endure on a daily basis. We are so bad to say why when we pray. Why God haven’t you fixed this or that problem I’m having. When we should be saying thank you Lord for Myasthenia Gravis it keeps me humble and on my knees. Lord I praise you for it. And the scripture I hold to is the one below. God will one day give me perfect healing. When he takes me to heaven and I’m sitting at the feet of Jesus. There will be no more falling, no more depression, no more restrictive lung disease, no more stage 3 thyroid cancer, no more Myasthenia Gravis, no more IG, No more worrying how the $50000.00 a month (not a typo) will be paid if insurance changes, no more joint pain, no more c-pap. I cling to Revelation 21:4. Maybe this is a day you need to hold it close to your heart.

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

“Oh What A Day That will Be”
There's Coming a day
When no heartaches shall come
No more tears to dim the eye
ALl is peace forever more
On that happy godden shore
What a day, glorious day that will be
What a day that will be
When my Jesus I shall see
When I look upon His face
the One who saved me by His grace
When He takes me by the hand
And leads me to the Promise Land
What a day, glorious day that will be
There will be no sorrow there
No more burdens to bear
No more sickness and no more pain
No more parting over there
And forever I will be
With the One who died for me
What a day, glorious day that will be
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jim Hill
What A Day That Will Be lyrics © Ben Speer Music

Those Davis Boys

I haven’t made a big comment about my new Grandbaby. I didn’t want to take any of Chelsea and Shawn’s joy of getting to tell it. So now I will share my feelings about the baby. IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!Just what Grammy thought it would be. Just what I wanted, and 18 months apart what better Mischief makers than two little boys. You can say things like “let me tell you what those Davis always did this morning”. I hope they will be like Laura and I, those “Smith Girls”. Or “Your one of those Smith Girls, are ya the biggen or the littlen,” never new if they were talking age or weight.  I loved being one of those “Smith Girls” some people might not have liked their identity tied up with someone else’s so close, but I loved it. So now I’ll have me a pair of “DAVIS BOYS” and I can’t wait to see all the things they get into. Mr. Rodney James is already so curious, busy, and rambunctious, I can’t wait to add little brother to the mix. We will be having THOSE DAVIS BOYS stories everyday.  Love my G-babies. That spit fire Aubrey makes me laugh. My two California boys, who I miss terrible already but who I’m getting to FaceTime with, not the same as touching them, but you can see the happiness on their faces. They are with mama and daddy and are loving their big Adventure. RJ is my brown eyed boy, precious baby. He’s fixing to loose his spot as baby. This will make 4 boys, 1 girl for me. ( oh and if it had been a girl, it would have been just what Grammy wanted😃☺️😍😍) GRANDBABIES ARE JUST GRAND. Davis Boys has a ring to it.

Failed my test

Well I’m kinda ill this morning ( ill mad not ill sick) so since I got the HRCT SCAN that showed the stupid ground glass in the lower lobes of my lungs. And my LFT were so much worse. (Lung Function Test). Could be from the lungs getting weaker, could be Myasthenia Gravis, could be from left over stuff from flu/pneumonia, could be all the smoking I’ve been doing ( oh right I don’t smoke never have) I could have a new autoimmune disease. WHO KNOWS!!!!!!! Wooohoooo so many choices so little time. So I went to the pulmonologist she wanted me to see what the Rheumatologist had to say. So, I see the Rheumatologist and had one of my coughing fits he wanted to call her then and send me to the ER WITH ME SAYING THIS IS MY NORMAL. People please listen to the to the patient. She knows she’s not dying yet. So back to the pulmonologist yesterday before I see the Rheumatologist next Tuesday. She is calling him and they are going to exchange ideas( duh), before I see him next Tuesday. I’ve been having, for quite sometime nebulize my daily maintenance medication, so the meds would get down into my lungs. And nebulizing my rescue meds. About a month a got I decided I couldn’t stand my little bathroom floor being NASTY one more second so I sprayed it with Scrubbing Bubbles. WOW!!!!!! Will that stuff clean and make you cough and cough and cough. My floor has never been that clean in there. She wasn’t happy about the Scrubbing Bubbles. Dr. Carptner was trying to figure out maybe some allergens I might be coming into contact with. Not allergic to a dog. I  Live in the middle of a hay field need to keep my windows, shut don’t need to touch any hay. Don’t need to look at hay. My O2 sat was 92% sitting in the chair. So she decided I needed to do a waking test. Now here is where I get plain old mad. I cry. And I cry some more. I usually can laugh my upset off but this one hit and hit me out of the blue and I just had to cry. The test was easy I was supposed walk up and down the hall for six minutes and see what my O2 sat did. Well I stood up and took a good breath and got a nice 95%. This was going to be no problem. Now there is something people my not know about me. I hate to loose. I hate less than 100 on any test I’ve ever taken. A 98 isn’t perfect it may be an A but it’s not perfect. I don’t hold anyone else to this standard. But oh, do I hold Lisa Freeman’s this exacting standard. In my sewing that’s why I rip so many seems out trying to make it perfect. I know I’m not perfect but I can work hard study hard seek Gods face and be as perfect as any human on earth can be if I put my mind to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pride goes before the fall. But these are personal standards that I don’t share a lot with other people. But Pride does have its place. So back to the six minute walking test. I’m to walk down the hall to the fire extinguisher and back and forth for six minutes. No big deal. Just straight, flat terrain. So as I make the first trip the stupid thing in my had goes “BEEPPP BEEPP” the girl comes running, I stop. I had looked the monitor said 92. She said what did it say when it was beeping I said I saw  a 90.  She said are you sure you didn’t see an 88%. I said no, and that wasn't  a lie because I didn’t. I might have heard it but I didn’t see it. So I started walking again we had another “false” alarm on the way back down to the fire extinguisher. Then when I turned and started back up the hall the monitor went crazy and wouldn’t turn off.  So the assistant came running and Dr. Carptner came running out of a room and there I stood with this monitor that just wouldn’t be quite.  So it finally came up to 90 and shushed. I said, “Ok, I’ll start again.” They both yelled NO!!!!! At the same time I said why, truly not understanding. Dr. Carptner said “If I let you walk any further you will end up in ICU.” I but y’all didn’t give me a chance to finish I know I can do better, I know I can. She said no, it’s oxygen time for you sweetie go sit and catch your breath we will be with you in a minute. Chelsea knew I was upset. I called Rodney as we were leaving and cried of course he said it would be ok what else was there to say. Except for Chelsea’s bright bubbly mama now your brain may work right. So today as I live in utter humiliation of failing the first test EVER. Finding out my Brain doesn’t work right, and waiting on them to bring what in the future shall be known as the “Stupid Oxygen”. You will know why I’m ill. You know I’m human. And you know Pride is a very dangerous thing.  I know all the good things that will come from this, but I need to wallow in a mud puddle of self pity little bit. Then I’ll be fine. But I still think I could have walked the 6 minutes if she had just let me.

Proverbs 16: 18 Pride goes before destruction,
    a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed
    than to share plunder with the proud.

Stupid Oxygen

So, I am now the proud owner of a Stupid Large Oxygen Compressor. (named R2D2) And million feet of Stupid oxygen tubing. 4 small Stupid Oxygen Bottles that will last 6whole hours, and weighs a thousand pounds, (only if you have Myasthenia Gravis). A lovely Stupid carrying bag that Rodney said I’d knock hole in the walls with (made me cry). Said all that tubing looked like my mess of yarn in the floor (made me cry). He told me when he left this morning, I couldn’t be like James Freeman, I had to wear it even when people weren’t looking (duh, made me cry). I called Doctor office yesterday and told them I wanted a POC (that’s what my dude who set up my O2 told me I needed) that means Stupid Portable Oxygen Compressor. Doctors office said they would call in the prescription, but my insurance probably would not pay for it because they were anywhere from $2500.00 dollars to $5000.00. My dude said I had great insurance and he thought they would pay. So, for now I’m tied to R2D2 or the six-hour bottle in the bag that will knock holes in everyone’s walls. (because I have horrible balance) Makes running to the bathroom after a Lasix very, very interesting. And that 6-hour bottle will only give me out to carry. Stupid Oxygen. My sweet dude hooked the Stupid Oxygen up to my C-Pap. I thought I’d been sleeping well, but I think I slept great last night. And I really could go to sleep right now. Does anyone know if Stupid Oxygen makes you sleepy? My O2 SAT is 97 sitting on 2 liters of Stupid Oxygen it was 90 yesterday so I guess the Stupid stuff is doing its job. But so far Chelsea my mind seems to be the same no great change there so far, keep praying for that miracle. But with everything I’ve already gone though I don’t know exactly why this is the one thing that has broken me. But it has. It’s good I see the psychiatrist Monday she will definitely be upping something... lol... but at least I know she want keep me with the crazies because I have too much Stupid Oxygen Tubing I want be safe back there with all the crazies...so maybe R2D2 isn’t too bad. And RJ is going to love it...pray my insurance will pay for a Stupid POC. That way I want feel so confined. I ask God to take this heart break away. I don’t know where it came from, but I don’t like it. I know “Even If” I have to wear Stupid Oxygen the rest of my Life my God is still God and Jesus is still my savior and this is nothing compared to what Jesus did for me and gave me. Please my sweet Jesus take my tears away, help me to be strong, help my testimony be blessed by you and don’t let this hurt it. Love you my sweet Lord. I would love to be like a Job and God say to Satan have you considered my servant Lisa, but I fall so short every day. But I want to stand strong in the face of this Stupid Oxygen. And say “Even If” like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. That God is still God no matter what happens down here. Stephen was stoned he didn’t run when the first stone hit, He stood strong. Stupid Oxygen is nothing compared to being stoned. Love you all thank you sincerely for your prayers. I need all I can get. Job 2 New International Version (NIV) 2 On another day the angels[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. 2 And the Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” 3 Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.” Daniel 3:16-28 King James Version (KJV) 16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. 17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. 18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up. 19 Then was Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: therefore he spake, and commanded that they should heat the furnace one seven times more than it was wont to be heated.
20 And he commanded the most mighty men that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.
21 Then these men were bound in their coats, their hosen, and their hats, and their other garments, and
were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.
22 Therefore because the king's commandment was urgent, and the furnace exceeding hot, the flames of
the fire slew those men that took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
23 And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, fell down bound into the midst of the
burning fiery furnace.
24 Then Nebuchadnezzar the king was astonished, and rose up in haste, and spake, and said unto his
counsellors, Did not we cast three men bound into the midst of the fire? They answered and said unto
the king, True, O king.
25 He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no
hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.
26 Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the mouth of the burning fiery furnace, and spake, and said,
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, ye servants of the most high God, come forth, and come hither. Then
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, came forth of the midst of the fire.
27 And the princes, governors, and captains, and the king's counsellors, being gathered together, saw
these men, upon whose bodies the fire had no power, nor was an hair of their head singed, neither were
their coats changed, nor the smell of fire had passed on them.
28 Then Nebuchadnezzar spake, and said, Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who
hath sent his angel, and delivered his servants that trusted in him, and have changed the king's word,
and yielded their bodies, that they might not serve nor worship any god, except their own God.

My SUPERMAN

On May 10, 2019 Rodney S. Freeman(not to be confused with Rodney James Davis), fell at work. He was at the Talladagea County Jail(see kids you never want to go to jail they're bad places). He had backed up to the loading dock and there was a space between the truck and the dock. Well, well, well my sweet honey's left foot fell sideways through the crack. Now get the picture in your mind, Rodney 5'11" 280, right leg planted firmly on the truck, left leg falling straight down through the crack and he throws his left arm out to catch him self on the unforgiving concrete dock. Now everyone knows My Rodney is the strongest man on earth(yeah, yeah, I  know I'm prejudice, but I'm right too) so he caught hisself with his left arm. He thought for a second that his left  leg was going to be broken but it was fine,(because he's secretly SUPERMAN) but he said his shoulder hurt just a "little ". He called me and said, "I have something to tell you so you,can get your head wrapped around it before I get home."(that's code for let her cry before i get home and let her get over her mad before i get home). Now, we had only had mama home from the hospital 2 days from her knee replacement and I was bone melting tired. I just said What? And he told me the story.  Anna was there and declared, "Daddy can never go back to jail ever." He called me so I'd be calmed down when he got home, I know what get your head wrapped around it means. So I called his work to talk to Audy the person Rodney has to call into when things happen, to see what the were doing for "MY HUSBAND " BECAUSE HE SAID THE WORD HURT. ( sending someone to get him, that would be a big NO, Rodney said he could finish, stupidity of men.) I had to leave a message and it was an upset message.  He was to chicken to call me back him self. The plant supervisor called me and I had a crying come apart just because Rodney S. Freeman said he hurt a little in the shoulder. He's OK he kept telling me he would have had us send someone to get him or to help him if he was hurt.  I said NO HE WOULD NOT. AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS HURTING,  THE MAN NEVER SAYS HES HURTING. We went back and forth him trying to calm me me trying to make him understand that after 38 years of marriage I knew Rodney a little better than he did and the man never ever, ever never, uses the HURT, word. And if he did it was serious. He said he would send him to the doctor as quick as he got back to the warehouse, not what I wanted but as good as I was going to get. Now,  I guess we need to stop here and let me explain why that one little word "hurt" upset me so. We have been married 38 and a half years. He has used the word he hurt half a dozen times in those 38 years. The one time he had shingles he hurt a little.  Yeah a little. Everyone knows how horrible the pain is with the shingles because it attacks the nerve. He has had massive dental work over the years, many root canals, crowns and such with no pain. His broken leg in 2015 it didn't really hurt it was so hard to keep him off of it, so it could heal correctly. He comes in with cuts and gashes on his body all the time bleeding and never really knows where it came from, cut it on the Bob wire, must have been a nail. He just doesn't feel pain like the average person, which is good and bad. The closest to hurt I ever hear from him is achy and mostly at that thumb joint that was hurt in the accident in 2015. And it stays swollen to twice its size most of the time, I really don't know how he handles all of those cases of groceries on a daily basis,  but he does, so that I eill have insurance.  He does it for me. So when he says something hurts I tend to 1000% believe him. So he said hurt and I believed him. They sent him to the workman's comp. Doctor when he arrived back at work. X-rayed shoulder no broken bones, don't even know if the x-rated his leg I need to find that out it could be broken, who would know with out an x-ray. But he doesn't say it hurts, so I'm not so worried about it. He has been on lite duty ever since. No workman's comp.  pay has been seen yet. I don't know when that will start. Rodney has been to the workman's comp doctor each week waiting for the little hurt to resolve but it hasn't. Took a month to get scheduled for a MRI, they wanted him to go to Fort Payne of all places, he said NO, second choice was Anniston. He went yesterday FINALLY for a  MRI of the shoulder they were going to do an arthrogram where they fill the joint full of dye and do a series of MRIs. He has so much fluid in the shoulder that the 2 very very bad tears showed up without the need of dye. A 3rd tear was seen but the severity of it is unknown at present, the Radiologist said he would have to have surgery to repair the 2 severe tears and they would repair the 3rd one while they were in there and make sure there was nothing else that needed repairing.  Now we start the surgeon fight. He is not having surgery in Fort Payne, sorry anyone from Fort Payne, don't mean to hurt your feelings but it ain't going to happen. I know who we want to do the surgery.  The same young doctor that did my knee and mama's knee. He is a knee and Shoulder specialist and he is the one who did Rodney's clavicle in 2015. So I am bracing for a fight. I know there are many many great excellent orthopedic  surgeon out there, but we want Dr. Tyler Marshall because we love him and trust him. And I have a very very important person that need all the TLC, He will let me give. And fighting for him is how I say I love you Rodney Freeman. And PEOPLE NEXT TIME HE SAYS HE HURTS TAKE IT SERIOUSLY,  A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD HAVE BEEN ROLLING ON THE GROUND SCREAMINGIN PAIN AND HE HASN'TEVEN BEEN OFFERED A PAIN PILL. BUT I MARRIED SUPERMAN. AND HE AINT NO WIMP. And as the Jim Croce song goes:

You don't tug on Superman's Cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Him.
Or you answer to Me, Anna, Chelsea, Joshus and Justin, most likely Leslie, Amy, Shawn, and 3 G-babies big enough to scratch your eyes out.(that little one will just smile at you). Just saying. This is what a real Super Man looks like.

Depression and my Unruly Tongue

I saw this on a tee-shirt and it made me laugh. Then it made me say Oh Me. Then it made me sad. Then I started to talk to my sweet Jesus and was asking him to let “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14” I just kept saying it over and over again. And I then Asked to be forgiven for any words that has come out of my mouth that was hurtful to anyone.
I have been fighting a bad deep deep Major Depression since December. Have had Depression most of my life. It’s nothing new. But this is the worst it’s been in a long time. In fact the last time it was this bad I spent 7 days in lock down. (Not a good place, there are crazy people there). We finally have my meds regulated where I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I have clinical Depression. If you’ve never delt with Depression, hit your knees right now and say Praise God. The chemistry in my brain isn’t correct. Who would have THUNK IT, that I would have something that wasn’t right in my head. It’s no different than some one with diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer or any other serious health condition. It’s something you treat. You don’t ignore it. If you ignore it that’s when really dark bad things can happen. But while your in that dark hole of depression your mouth will run wild. You will say things that are hurtful to the people you love the most. I think you want them to feel as awful as you do. You hurt and you want everyone else to feel your pain. Depression makes your tongue very unruly. That made me think of “James” Chapter 3 in the Holy Bible. Which talks about how unruly the tongue is and how we need to bridle it. So this shirt that I thought was funny became not so funny to me. It convicted me this morning. I apologize to anyone and everyone that I may have hurt with my tongue. And in the future I will try think long and hard before I speak. This is a hard task and I’m sure I will fail many times. But know in my heart I want to “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14

James 3 (NIV)
Taming the Tongue
3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

When I Was Young

 I’ve noticed people on Facebook comparing different  things that date their age.
So this is When I was young. I could have written for days.
I saw the first ever man walk on the moon. JFK was shot and killed. I watch the Impeachment process of a president on TV and he resigned instead of being impeached (Good bye Tricky Dicky, we owe you an apology) My first grade year 1967, was the first year Ashville elementary school was desegregated. So I Didn’t grow up without my African-American friends.(Thanks Alice Tuner for braiding my hair at recess). Nedda and Ellise were 2 of my other dear friends(desegregation was great it was all I knew). Red Skelton show my favorite TV show. The Vietnam war was still raging. They Took the Lords prayer and Bible verses out of public schools. We got our milk delivered by the milkman once or twice a week. We couldn’t wait for that delivery truck to get to the house, because it had other goodies on it too. I Rode my bicycle up and down the roads here in Gallant all the time and never ever thought of a predator. We didn’t have to have a seatbelt or a car seat when I was little we could lay up in the back window of a car if we wanted to. That was pretty cool. My mama or daddy‘s arm was of the seatbelt we needed. I remember 3 places you could go and still have the water drawn up out of the well and we all drank from the same Ladle.  Best coldest water in the world. And I’ve used more than one outhouse and yes one only had a sears catalogue to wipe your bottom with. And I am still alive.( though I was terrified of falling in the hole). I Had the big measles,  the little Measles, and the mumps, and chickenpox. I was vaccinated for small pox. I remember when they came to school when I was in elementary school, lined us up and gave everybody a shot with this strange gun thing and drops under our tongues for polio, the first vaccines I guess. We did not have kindergarten when I was little you learned to read in first grade and you didn’t learn to read good till second grade and there was no multiplications until about fourth grade. We played outside all the time. There were no hand held games and no cell phones. We had a party line that means we shared a phone line with someone else. So you always hoped they weren’t listening in on your conversation. And I never listened to there’s, (at least not for long.) Does anyone else think they’re pushing our kids a little too fast. But what do I know I’m 58 year old women. All these things happened when I was young. But I didn’t have to walk up hill 5 miles each way to school and back in the rain, snow, sleet, or hail like some people. I believe it was a pretty good time to be young.

Run Run Run

Run, Run, Run

Think about being a 4 year old little girl playing T-Ball for the very first time. You hit the ball off the Tee and everyone starts screaming RUN AUBREY, RUN. She runs like the wind. Then we're screaming stop on the base and she comes to an abrupt stop right on top of the base the ball no where near her. She runs like the wind. Then think about a 7 year old boy and a 5 year old boy playing chase in Grammy’s house. I have this great open concept house that has a great “running circle “.(Grammy loves it). Giggles, squeals, big laughs, and sometimes some cries but only at Grammy’s house. Running and squealing when there out side. Running is just fun, if you little it would seem. Then there’s little Rodney James who will be walking any day. He crawls so fast I can't even imagine how fast he will run. Grammy has bought her some in the house walking shoes, praying I might be able to keep up with RJ.  It's nice to have a dream. Run, run, run, that would describe Joshua these days. I’m so proud of him. He has taken back control of his health to the amount any human can. We can't change genetics or God's plan for our lives, but I’m proud he is trying to take care of his health.  He wants to see his daughter as a grown woman, a very nice goal. His running gives him goals and his meditation time with God like no other. He may not know it but he is bringing joy to people in the community.  Many different people have mentioned to me seeing him run and him waving.  And the smiles on their faces always make me smile. The other day I saw a rabbit run from one side of the pasture to the other in about 1 second flat. Now that's running.  All of this running has made me want to run… HA!!!! No really I wish I could run. But my left knee doesn't like to walk,  let alone think about running.  I recently had  new Pulmonary Function Test. It was much, much worse than the last one I had. Restrictive Lung Disease.  Primary cause  “Myasthenia Gravis”? MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. So more test, a High Resolution CT. Just means I laid on my back then on my stomach.  Yeah it sounded much cooler than that. It showed Ground-glass nodules.  One in my right upper lung.  Then Ground-glass airspace disease in the left and right lower lung greater in the right. What in the world is Ground- glass.  I have no clue. So I do the worst thing in the world I Googled it. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!! NEVER GOOGLE THINGS, NEVER, EVER NEVER…lol… So I have decided that, I have this because of having the Flu 3 times and pneumonia since the first of December.  I’ve had a bunch of blood work done that I haven’t heard from the doctor about. But I’ve looked at it and guess what I have autoimmune disease.  Lol… you have to laugh instead cry. Now back to running.  I want to run from Myasthenia Gravis, from Thyroid Cancer,(I go in two weeks for ultrasound and blood work, to check on that) IVIG a slight tiny reaction this last treatment, ( left me with a horrible, horrible, headache, worst I’ve had in years), and depression. My body is tired, but my depression is a tiny bit better though. I’m on a new medication and I think it’s helping.  But it guarantees to, make me gain weight, raise my blood pressure,  raise my cholesterol, wow what a great pill. But I am getting my brain chemistry back in balance.  And it seems to be keeping me from wishing I was dead every day, at least right now. So that is good. Maybe I want have to run from it much longer. I really do wish I could run like Joshua does, to help my with my weight( I know I’m fat it's not a secret,  it’s hurtful to my soul but I just can't get a handle on it) and my health.  Just imagine to be able to go out side and take off running to feel the air on your face the sweat running helping to cool your body the burn in your legs as they use your stored energy. To have an app on your phone that says you ran 12 miles you can eat an extra 1600 calories today, Hahahahahahaha.  That would be cool.
They just had a 5K race to raise money of Sarcoidosis. That is what my dear friend Jack, Kerry's husband has and he is on the lung transplant list.  Kerry walked it her goal was 50 minutes. Which I thought was great she made it in 53 minutes because she started talking to someone and she was pleased with her time. I told her 53 minutes was a great time much better than mine. And she said “ You are running the same race as me. Time doesn't count. Souls count.”   WOW, AND OH, SO TRUE.  Do we forget get the most important race we need to be running. Are we running for Jesus. Do we scream his name as we go on our journey.  I’m so guilty of having the poor pitiful me all the time, that I’m not running the important race. The race for Jesus.  The race to tell everyone that he was born to a virgin, he was crucified on a cross for my sins and the sins of the whole world, and the most important joyous part he rose from the grave on the 3rd day. The tomb is empty.  My Jesus is in heaven telling God the Father that I’m his. So let’s run the correct race first. Then these earthly races might just become a tiny bit more tolerable. A race is never easy. Just ask Joshua,  he doesn't race against people he races his 5K's and half Marathons against the clock. You have to train, you have to push your self, you have to go in the freezing cold, in the rain, in the blazing heat. The same goes for our race with and for God he never said it would be easy.  But he did say he would never leave us or forsake us.  The trail were running maybe full of obstacles,  things we have to climb over but God will always give us a hand up and catch us on the way down. I want to run like AUBREY when she’s running to first base. With utter focus and joy. I want my race for Jesus to be that focused and joyful. Love y'all.

Hebrews 12:1-2 King James Version (KJV)
12 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Isaiah 40:30-31 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount upwith wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.
27No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

2 Timothy 4:7-9
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the